


Home for the Holiday

by masquerade97



Series: Jewish!Cas [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hanukkah, M/M, Mentions of Antisemitism, jewish!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9281558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masquerade97/pseuds/masquerade97
Summary: In which Dean goes home with Cas for Hanukkah





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *shows up a week late to my own holiday with fic*
> 
> in my defense i did try to post this on time, but my computer was on the fritz. idk what its problem is, but hopefully i can get the rest of this posted in a timely manner

Cas noticed the first decorations on November first. He rolled his eyes and continued on his way. 

Several more cropped up in the following days and weeks, and Cas caught himself thinking about how grateful he should have felt last year when decorations hadn’t gone up until after Thanksgiving. Of course, even last year there had been Christmas displays in stores around the beginning of November. Even the Christmas music started around mid-November. 

In the past couple of months, Cas had taken to wearing his yarmulke again, even though he was still nervous the first few days he wore it to class. Only one student had made antisemitic remarks about it, but that issue was resolved quickly. Dean was the one who convinced him he should still wear it after that; he’d offered to kick the guy’s ass, if Cas would only tell him who the guy was. Cas had assured him the administration on campus had taken care of it. 

Towards the end of the semester, just before finals, Cas plopped heavily onto his bed, facedown.  

“Long day?” Dean asked, glancing up from his textbook. “Don’t tell me you skipped lunch to study in the library again.” 

“No, I didn’t,” Cas said, his voice muffled by the pillow. “But yes, I had a long day. And there’s a Christmas tree in the lounge.” 

Dean made a face. “Yeah, that’s rough.” 

“A few people have put up stockings in the lounge too,” Cas said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “If I see one with my name on it, I’m taking it down.” If they had had the same suite-mates as they’d had the year before, Cas wouldn’t have worried about it – most, if not all, of those students had known Cas was Jewish, but most of them had been seniors, or had switched dorms, or had moved off campus. 

“So put a menorah up in the lounge with your name on it,” Dean suggested. 

Cas smiled slightly. “I don’t trust them that much,” he said. “And I don’t have a menorah with me anyway. Hanukkah doesn’t start until the twenty-fourth.” 

“Can I still come over for that week?” Dean asked. 

Cas shrugged. “As far as I know. My parents haven’t said otherwise, and they liked having you over for Purim.” 

“And I liked being over for Purim,” Dean said, grinning. “Is there going to be a dramatic retelling of this story too?” 

“If we let my dad tell it, yes,” Cas said, biting back a laugh. “Maybe this year you can come over for Pesach and you can hear him tell that story. That’s his favorite.” 

“That’s Passover, right?” Dean asked. He’d gotten better with recognizing what Cas was talking about when he used Hebrew and Yiddish in the past year, but he always wanted to double check. 

“Right, that’s Passover.” Cas was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Are you sure your parents won’t mind you missing Christmas?” 

Dean shrugged. “My dad’s a little pissed, but my mom doesn’t mind too much. And besides, Sam’s spending a couple days with Eileen for Hanukkah too, so it’s not just me.” 

“Eileen at least lives near you.” 

“They’ll get over it.” 

Cas smiled. “As long as I’m not keeping you from something important.” 

Dean waved him off. “You spent Thanksgiving with us instead of at home, so we’ll call it even.” 

“You missed Easter in March,” Cas pointed out. “Missing Christmas means you’ve missed two things. And you’ll be at my house for New Year’s.” 

“Oh well. My parents like you. They’ll get over it.” 

“If you say so,” Cas said with a fond look, finally opening one of his textbooks. 

“You worry too much.” 

“It’s one of my best character traits.” 

Dean rolled his eyes affectionately, turning back to his textbook though his mind had started to wander. Truth be told, he hadn’t actually _asked_ his parents if he could go to Cas’ house for Hanukkah – he’d just mentioned it one day with something along the lines of, “Hanukkah starts December 24th this year, and I think I want to spend it with Cas.” Of course, that didn’t mean his parents had immediately grasped the fact that Jewish holidays begin at sundown, and therefore Dean would be away on Christmas. _That_ conversation had happened the day after he’d brought it up. 

“Dean?” 

Dean started at the sound of his name and glanced up at Cas, who wore a slightly concerned look on his face. “What’s up?” 

“Are you okay?” Cas asked. 

Dean’s brow furrowed. “I’m fine.” 

Cas didn’t look like he bought it. “Are you sure? You looked...I don’t know, weird.” 

“Gee, thanks Cas.” 

“You know what I meant.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just lost in my own head, I guess.” Dean shifted his seat and tried to refocus on his book, but he could feel Cas still watching him. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Cas said, finally shaking himself. “If you say it’s nothing, it’s nothing.” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Okay.” 

Dean could tell that Cas knew it wasn’t nothing, but he elected not to bring it up. Maybe later, when he didn’t have exams hanging over his head. 


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Dean pulled into Cas’ neighborhood, it was after dark. The moonlight sparkled on the snow in the yards and on the roofs of the houses. There were menorahs in most of the windows of the houses along the street, and Dean smiled when he saw them. The view was a dramatic contrast to Dean’s own neighborhood, which had been decked to the nines in Christmas lights and decorations. Dean liked the Christmas lights, but the soft light from the menorahs in the windows was something else entirely; he’d never seen so many in one place – at most there was one next to the tree in the shops in his hometown – and it was a different kind of community feeling than the lights in his own neighborhood.

When Dean pulled into Cas’ driveway, he noticed the menorah in the front window was burned almost all the way down. As he grabbed his bag he wondered how long it had been lit.

Cas opened the door with a smile just a few seconds after Dean rang the bell.

“You made it,” Cas said, stepping aside so Dean could enter.

“’Course I did,” Dean said, shouldering out of his coat in the entryway and hanging it on the rack by the door as Cas closed the door.

“You could have waited until morning you know,” Cas said.

Dean shrugged. “Where’s the fun in that?” he asked with a lopsided grin, and he laughed at the dry look Cas gave him. “What? I did Christmas with my parents and Sammy tonight, now I’m here for Hanukkah.”

Cas shook his head, but there was a small smile on his face. “Why don’t you go put your bag down? Then you can meet everyone in the den.”

“Everyone?” Dean asked, a hint of anxiety in his voice when he picked up his bag from where he’d dropped it when he took his coat off.

“Just a few family members,” Cas said. “We’ll have to share my room for a couple of days.”

“Oh yeah?” Dean asked, only a little suggestively.

Cas rolled his eyes, as if he’d been expecting that exact response. “Don’t be crude. You’re sleeping on the trundle bed.”

“Fair enough,” Dean said. “You mind giving me a rundown of who’s here before I meet everyone?”

Cas nodded and started leading the way to his room so Dean could put his things down. “You met Hannah when you were here for Purim,” he started.

“Yeah, I remember her,” Dean said. “Do I get to hear the story she kept trying to tell me last time?”

“No,” Cas said, not pausing to consider it. “She’s here with her cousin from the other side of her family, Anna, and Anna’s husband Balthazar.”

“Balthazar?” Dean asked, his brow creasing thoughtfully. “Is he Jewish?”

“He is.”

Dean considered that, setting his bag in the corner of Cas’ room. Then he shrugged, letting it go for the time being. “Anyone else?”

“My dad’s brother Judah-”

“The one you’re named for?”

Cas nodded. “And my mom’s sister, Hannah’s mom, Naomi, and her wife Pesha.”

“Right, got it.”

Cas smiled at him. “Ready?”

Dean shrugged, a little nervously. “As I’ll ever be, I guess.”

Cas led the way back to the den, where half the people were crammed onto the loveseat or the recliners, and the other half were seated in a circle on the floor. Everyone was talking and laughing, and someone yelled excitedly in Hebrew.

“Dean’s here,” Cas announced unceremoniously.

Four different answers came up from the group, from the standard “Nice to meet you!” and “Good to see you again!” to Hannah yelling “Did he bring food?” as if she’d waited all night to be able to ask. Anna shoved her cousin and hissed, “Now don’t be rude.”

“Hi, everyone,” Dean said, awkwardly shifting his weight.

“I’ll make the introductions,” Cas said, leading Dean to the circle of people on the ground and gesturing for him to sit. He went around the room and listed off names and relations. Dean smiled and did his best to keep track.

“If you want to join the dreidel game, you’re going to have to wait until the next round,” Anna said, taking the top from her husband and spinning it fast enough that it looked like it was standing still.

“That’s fine, I can wait,” Dean said.

“I thought we were telling the story after this round?” Balthazar asked.

“We can play again after that!” Hannah pointed out.

“So Dean, what are you studying?” Judah asked from his place on the couch.

“I’m an English major,” Dean said. “Mostly twentieth century literature right now.”

“He reads more than I do,” Cas said fondly.

“Mostly for school right now,” Dean said with a shrug. “Cas reads more for fun.”

“I always enjoyed Shakespeare,” Pesha said, a wistful look on her face. “I studied biology in school, but one year all of my electives were on Shakespeare.”

Dean jumped at a sudden commotion on his right. Hannah was doubled over laughing, and Balthazar wore a mischievous look on his face. Anna looked almost scandalized. Dean wondered what exactly had gone on while he hadn’t been paying attention.

“Play nice down there,” Cas’ mother said. She looked like she was fighting to keep from laughing.

“ _I_ was playing nice,” Anna said, her head held high. Balthazar wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him until he fell backwards and she was laughing too.

“Alright, alright,” Cas’ father said. He pushed Balthazar off of his left foot with his right. “I think it’s time we tell the story before we have too much chaos to deal with.”

“It’s a good thing Gabriel isn’t here,” Cas said. “We’d never get to the story with as much chaos as he brings.”

“But he acts it out!” Balthazar said.

“So you act it out,” Anna said, wiggling her way out of his embrace and brushing herself off as she sat up again.

“I can’t do every part,” Balthazar protested. “Not like he does.”

“I’ll do Hannah!” Hannah said.

“You know she doesn’t have a name,” Anna protested.

“We called her Miriam, growing up,” Judah said.

“I didn’t hear her referred to as Miriam until I moved out here and heard you talk about her,” Naomi countered. “We called her Hannah, or we didn’t call her anything.”

“Our Rabbi calls her Hannah,” Cas said. Dean thought it looked like Cas knew this would not make the debate go by any faster.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Cas’ father said, heading that tangent off before it could get going. “Why don’t we get on with the story?”

“Is _saba_ going to tell it again tomorrow?” Hannah asked.

“ _Saba_?” Dean whispered to Cas as some other conversation track started.

“Means ‘grandfather,’” Cas whispered back. “ _Saba_ Joseph is the best storyteller.”

“We can wait for tomorrow, and then _saba_ can tell it while Gabriel acts it out!” Anna suggested.

“We always tell the story on the first night,” Pesha said. “It’s a tradition.”

“How about an abridged version tonight, and _saba_ can tell the full story tomorrow,” Judah suggested.

There was a general sound of agreement from the room.

“How abridged?” Cas’ father asked.

“As abridged as you can,” Cas’ mother challenged. There was a knowing look in her eye, as if she knew exactly where this suggestion would lead.

“Alright,” Cas’ father said with a shrug. “They tried to kill us. We lived. Let’s eat.”

There was a groan that travelled around the room, but Cas and Pesha laughed.

“That’s such an old joke,” Naomi complained.

“It’s new to me!” Dean said. He immediately wondered if that was something he should have added to the conversation, but Judah laughed at the comment.

“An oldie but a goodie,” he said. “And what better way to introduce it to our guest?”

“Tell it for real!” Hannah said, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest.

Cas’ father held up his hands for quiet. Dean realized that the silence that fell was the first he’d heard since he arrived, and the sound seemed almost unnatural in this house.

“A long time ago–”

“In a galaxy far far away,” Anna interrupted. Hannah glared at her, but she looked more like she had been expecting to make that interjection and didn’t appreciate her cousin beating her to the punch than annoyed at the interruption.

“–the Greeks invaded the Holy Temple in Jerusalem,” Cas’ father continued, as if there had been no interruption. “A general of King Antiochus threatened the Jews with death unless they sacrificed to the Greek gods. One man stepped forward, willing to make the sacrifice. But before he could, Mattathias cut off the man’s head.”

Dean looked over at Cas, surprised. He had heard the general story of Chanukah before, but it hadn’t occurred to him that there would be so much detail to the story. Though, considering what he had learned since the year before, he figured he probably should have realized that sooner.

“Mattathias and his family led their followers from the city to begin organizing their rebellion.”

“This is my favorite part,” Hannah whispered, nudging Dean with her elbow.

“Meanwhile, the Greek occupation continued. In the city, there lived a woman with seven sons–”

“Hannah!” Hannah said.

“Miriam!” Judah countered. The sly look on his face said he brought up the other name simply as a counter to Hannah, not because he had any particular stake in what her name might have been.

Cas’ father eyed them both but continued all the same. “The family refused to give up their Jewish practice, and were in turn captured by the Greeks, who tried to force them to eat pork.”

“Nuh-uh,” Hannah said. “They tried to force them into idol worship!”

“One by one, the sons were tortured for their refusal to break _kashrut_ ,” Cas’ father continued, though he seemed resigned to the fact that there would be a tangent.

“No, it was because they refused to bow to an idol,” Pesha said. She smiled at Hannah when Hannah grinned at her.

“In the story of the Maccabees, it says the king tried to force them to eat pork,” Cas’ mother reasoned.

“In _Gittin_ Rabbi Judah says that the story is about a family refusing to worship idols,” Hannah countered.

“It makes sense for it to be a refusal to break _kashrut_ ,” Naomi said, trying to sound reasonable. “This is an attempt to keep day-to-day practices alive rather than Hellenizing.”

“Yeah but Mattathias cut off a man’s _head_ for being willing to sacrifice to the Greek gods!” Hannah protested. “So it _also_ makes sense for it to be a refusal to worship idols.”

“That’s more of a narrative parallel,” Pesha offered. At the betrayed look on Hannah’s face, she raised her hands in defense. “I agree with you! It just seems that the idol worship story is one that mirrors something that has already happened, a big thing, while the _kashrut_ story shows how important smaller, more mundane practices are.”

“This is Hannah’s favorite part?” Dean whispered to Cas as the argument evolved from there.

“She makes this argument every year,” Cas replied.

Dean blinked at him in confusion. “Every year?”

Cas shrugged. “It’s as much tradition as telling the story on the first night.”

“Look, if someone’s going to torture me to death for being Jewish, I just feel like it’s a more compelling story if I refuse to bow to an idol than if I refuse to eat a pig.”

“It isn’t about what’s _compelling_ –”

“You do this every year?” Dean asked again.

Cas laughed. “Not exactly. Sometimes we come up with new arguments.”

“About the same topic?”

“Sure, why not?” Cas asked. “We’re different than we were a year ago. Maybe we changed our minds.”

The debate went on for several more minutes before Cas’ father was able to quiet everyone enough to continue with the story, but the mood was different. There were more interjections and less passive listening, not that the first part could be considered passive. A few tangents involved stories that had been told on the playground at Hebrew school, and debates on the validity of those stories and theories. By the end of it, Dean couldn’t keep his eyes open, and he didn’t understand how everyone wasn’t exhausted from all the conversation around the story. He wasn’t even sure how long they’d been awake, but Cas’ family were all laughing and carrying on, invigorated rather than tired from the debate.

“And they all lived happily ever after,” Cas’ father finally finished.

“I don’t know about that.”

“I think that’s enough for one night.”

“I have never heard a less Jewish answer from anyone in my _life_. I’m _insulted_.”

“It’s after midnight. Night is literally over.”

“Oh.”

“It’s time for morning debate.”

Dean tried and failed to stifle a yawn, and Cas laughed.

“I think our guest has had enough,” Cas’ mother said.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Dean said. “I can go to bed and you can continue.”

“No, I think we’d better stop,” Judah said. “ _Saba_ and Gabriel will be here early, and everyone else will be here around lunchtime, so we should all get some rest.”

Dean wandered back to Cas’ room almost immediately, but he could hear the conversation trailing in behind him. Even when the door was closed as he was changing, he could hear voices as the conversation broke into pairs and groups and people dispersed to where they would be sleeping.

Cas knocked softly on the door before entering. “I’m sorry for not warning you about that,” he said sincerely. “I forget that it can be tiring for someone who isn’t used to all the chaos of the holidays.”

“I’m used to holiday chaos,” Dean said earnestly. He smiled slightly. “But that’s something else.”

“Yeah,” Cas said sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Dean said, shaking his head. “It was fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [i'm over here if you wanna talk about fic](http://titlecomingsoon.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Dean opened his eyes slowly in the morning. Cas was still asleep in the bed above him. For a few moments, the world was still, as if it, too, were just waking up.

Then there was the faint sound of the coffee maker bubbling. A door opened and closed somewhere in the house, and Dean figured it was as good a time as any to get up and start the day.

He stepped softly across the room, careful to open and close the door quietly so as not to wake Cas. From here, he could smell the coffee, and it made his stomach grumble.

In the kitchen, Dean found Balthazar pouring coffee into a mug. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Balthazar said, glancing up briefly from the mugs in front of him. “Do you want any? I made it for me and Anna, but there’s enough left for you.”

“Sure,” Dean said, taking the mug Balthazar offered him.

“I hope we didn’t wear you out last night,” Balthazar said apologetically.

“I’ll live,” Dean said with a shrug. “Is there creamer anywhere?”

“Check the fridge,” Balthazar suggested. He poured milk into the mugs in front of him and added sugar to one of them.

Dean found a half-full bottle of creamer in the door, thankfully one he liked, and poured in enough to lighten the coffee a shade or two, but not enough to mask the actual flavor.

“Is Chanukah what you expected?” Balthazar asked, stirring the coffee in his mug and leaning against the counter behind him.

“Not quite,” Dean said with a half-smile. “I was here for Purim, but there wasn’t quite so much arguing over that story.”

“Ah,” Balthazar said with a nod. “Not that you heard.”

Dean furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“I guarantee there was plenty of arguing at Torah study, or Hebrew school, or anything like that,” Balthazar said. “There probably was a bit at dinner too.”

“I think I’m starting to realize that,” Dean said.

Balthazar snorted a laugh into his coffee. “It’s one of the first things you learn.”

“There’s a specific order?” Dean joked.

“Not a specific one.”

Dean laughed, then grew serious again. “Hey Balthazar, can I ask you a personal question?”

Balthazar blinked at him, taken aback. “I suppose,” he said carefully. “But that depends on the question.”

“It’s about your name,” Dean added.

Balthazar let out a startled laugh. “Oh, that’s a common one,” he said. He took another sip of his coffee, amused.

“It is?” Dean asked. “I mean, Cas told me that sometimes you have a legal name and a Hebrew name, so I was just wondering – how’d you get yours?”

“My parents gave me the legal name,” Balthazar said. “I chose the Hebrew one.”

“That’s a thing?”

Balthazar shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“But how did you get Balthazar?” Dean asked. Then he seemed to remember himself. “I mean, if, you know, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s a family name,” Balthazar said. “My family is Anglican.”

“Oh,” Dean said. “ _Oh_. So you-”

“Converted, yes,” Balthazar said, a wry look on his face. “That is possible, you know.”

“No, yeah, I just-”

Balthazar waved him off. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, smiling. “It’s the best decision I’ve made so far.”

“I don’t know what decision you’re talking about,” Anna said as she walked into the kitchen, taking the coffee mug Balthazar held out for her, “but if it _isn’t_ marrying me, then you’re probably wrong.”

“I would say marrying you is a close second, because without this decision I wouldn’t have met you in the first place,” Balthazar countered. He put his arm around Anna as she leaned against the counter next to him.

“Did you put sugar in this?”

“Of course.”

Anna took a sip of her coffee and nodded. “What decision are you talking about?”

“Converting.”

“Fair enough.”

“How did you meet?” Dean asked, since the topic had been brought up.

“At Torah study,” Balthazar said.

“I feel the need to mention that this was the first time I’d been to Torah study at this particular synagogue,” Anna interrupted. “I’d moved to town about a month before, but with moving and work I hadn’t had time to get to Torah study during the week, but I’d just gotten my new schedule.”

“It wasn’t long after Pesach,” Balthazar said, and then paused again. He glanced over at Anna. “Were you not at that seder hosted at the synagogue? I know you were there for services that week.”

“No. I was here,” Anna replied. “I didn’t really know anyone at the synagogue, so to me it was better to make the drive to be with family than to do the communal thing.”

“Even though you’d just moved there.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, we were discussing the story of the golden calf,” Balthazar continued, looking back at Dean. “We were all there before the Rabbi, so we started without him.”

“You can do that?” Dean thought about starting class without his teacher and had a feeling that that probably wasn’t the most accurate comparison.

“Sure,” Balthazar said. “Besides, we had some strong opinions.” He looked over at Anna, who was grinning.

“He means _I_ had some strong opinions.”

“Well, everyone did.”

Anna laughed. “Not everyone called Aaron a dumbass.”

“Aaron?” Dean asked.

“Moses’ brother,” Anna said. “Not the guy in the class.”

“That was a different occasion,” Balthazar said, and Anna laughed again.

“You guys are _loud_.” Hannah trudged into the room, her dark hair tied back. She was rubbing the sleep from her eyes when she noticed the coffee pot. “Is there enough left for me?”

Balthazar eyed the coffee pot and shrugged. “You can have what’s left, but you’ll probably want more than that.”

“I don’t drink it a lot,” Hannah said, rummaging in the cabinets until she found a mug. “I don’t need that much.”

“Whatever you say,” Anna said.

“What’s for breakfast?”

Anna shrugged. “Haven’t made anything yet,” she said lightly. “And I don’t know what’s here.”

“What?” Dean asked, caught completely off guard by the confession. Everyone had been moving around the house so comfortably, he’d forgotten none of them lived there either.

“I was going to wait until everyone was up to worry about what to do about food,” Anna said.

“What about latkes?” Hannah asked. “There should be some left from last night, right?”

As the morning progressed, everyone started trickling into the kitchen until there wasn’t enough space and they had to move into the living room. Dean tried to follow the conversation, but he found that there were so many going on that he was having a better time finding fragments than joining the conversation.

At one point, not too long after the relocation to the living room, the doorbell rang and Balthazar got up to answer it.

“Fair warning,” Cas said in a low voice to Dean. “That’ll be Gabriel and _saba_. Gabriel can be a bit much until you get used to him.”

Dean nodded. “Got it,” he said. “Who else is coming over?”

“Mostly relatives,” Cas said. “Don’t worry, they’ll only be here for the afternoon.”

“Look who’s here,” Balthazar announced as he stepped back into the room, stepping to the side and holding an arm out to present the newcomers.

There was a chorus of greetings and a lot of shuffling as people got up to say hello and then rearranged their seats so _saba_ could have his favorite seat. Dean was pleased to find that being introduced wasn’t awkward in the slightest.

“Did you guys get carolers last night?” Gabriel asked when everyone had more or less settled into the new seating arrangement.

A wave of discomfort briefly swept the room, and Dean found himself unsure of why.

“They didn’t stop on this street,” Cas’ father said, “but we heard them going through the neighborhood.”

Dean thought back to his arrival and couldn’t remember seeing any Christmas decorations up anywhere in the neighborhood. “You get carolers through here?”

“Sometimes,” Cas said. He didn’t elaborate, so Dean didn’t press.

Gabriel nodded. “They came by my neighborhood too.”

“Carolers are really not so bad, when you think about it,” Anna said. “We’ve had worse.”

“Yeah,” Hannah said. “It could be some dude working for a Greek king who wants you to sacrifice to an idol.”

“Or break _kashrut_ ,” Pesha said fairly.

“You’ve been arguing, I see,” _saba_ said from his chair, his voice warm and his expression fond.

“Not _arguing, saba, debating_ ,” Hannah said reasonably. “I would _never_ argue with my beloved family.”

“Lying’s a sin,” Balthazar said, not missing a beat.

“Hannah, if you go off the _derech_ I don’t know what we’ll do with ourselves,” Cas said, bordering on dramatic.

Hannah threw a throw pillow at Cas, who caught it and grinned at his cousin.

“I draw the line at throwing things,” Cas’ mother said. “There’s already enough going on. We don’t need to break something too.”

“I stand by calling last night a debate rather than an argument,” Hannah said, looking around defiantly.

“So is this an argument or a debate?” Judah asked. He laughed at the look his brother shot him.

Dean listened to the conversations that branched off as best he could, but he found it all a little hard to follow, since he couldn’t decide on which conversation to focus. Sometimes he’d listen to Cas’ conversation beside him, and sometimes he’d get distracted by a word or phrase from someone else. Cas would glance at him every so often, as if to ask if he were okay, and Dean would smile and nod at him and Cas would go back to whatever conversation he’d been having.

Around midmorning, Cas’ mother, Naomi, and Pesha went into the kitchen to begin preparing lunch. Dean could smell the cholent that’d been cooking since the night before, and his mouth started to water. He could hear them laughing in the kitchen, and the rattle of silverware and the occasional _beep_ of a timer. When the conversation he was participating in took a turn he couldn’t follow anymore, he got up to go help in the kitchen, and was tasked with setting the table. There were significantly more place settings than people currently sitting in the living room, and Dean remembered that more of Cas’ relatives would be coming. He used his task to keep his mind off the worry that was building in his gut.

“There you are,” Cas said as he entered the dining room. “I’m sorry if we’re leaving you out.”

“You’re fine,” Dean said. “I’m having a good time, really, it’s just a lot going on.”

“Do you want to go for a walk later?” Cas asked, moving to help Dean distribute silverware around the table. “Get out of the house for a little bit?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, I think that’d be great.”

There was a knock on the door at that moment, and Dean looked in the direction of the door. He could feel the apprehension in his gut, and then a steadying hand on his shoulder. He glanced over to see Cas smiling at him. “It’ll be fun,” he promised. Then he lowered his voice and added, “If it gets to be too much, we can eat in the kitchen.”

Dean nodded appreciatively as the door was opened. He could hear greetings through the house and steeled himself for more introductions.

There were only a few names Dean could remember in the chaos, but he caught a Ruth, a Zach, a Judith, and a Sam, though if asked he didn’t think he could remember who went with what name. He ended up sitting between Cas and _saba_ Joseph, which was just fine with him. He said _amen_ after the _bracha_ was said, since that seemed the right thing to do, and then he dug in to his meal.

As he ate, he didn’t mind that he was only marginally involved in the conversations. In truth, he liked to just follow them, especially since he didn’t really know anyone. Some things they said sounded familiar, and others were completely alien to him. Still, he enjoyed listening, and joining in occasionally.

“So, Dean,” _saba_ Joseph said, toward the end of the meal, “I’m told you’re an English major.”

“Yes sir,” Dean replied. The conversations continued around them, but he noticed Cas glance at him. “Right now, mostly twentieth century works.”

Joseph _hmm_ ed approvingly. “English works? American?”

“A little of both.”

“Do you have a preference?”

Dean thought a moment. “American, I think. If I had to pick.”

“That’s what I thought you might say,” Joseph said, smiling as if Dean were his own grandson. “Why are they your favorite, if I may ask?”

Dean, of course, was not bothered in the slightest to be asked. He was surprised at how much Joseph knew of literature, and how they could discuss the different themes and views in the works. He had classmates he enjoyed debating with, and he found that speaking with Joseph was almost more fun than speaking with those classmates.

Too soon, in Dean’s opinion, conversations were cut short and they all moved into the living room for _saba_ Joseph to retell the Chanukah story, apparently with Gabriel (and perhaps one or two others) acting it out as he spoke. Extra chairs were brought in and several people sat on the floor.

“Not too much?” Cas asked quietly as he and Dean settled into a spot on the floor.

“Not quite,” Dean replied. “Your _saba_ is a really cool guy.”

Cas smiled and squeezed Dean’s hand as _saba_ started speaking.


	4. Chapter 4

It was cold outside, and their breath steamed into the air in front of them. Everyone had left around dinnertime, about an hour after the candles had burned themselves out, making the house almost eerie in the quiet that followed. Dean and Cas had helped clean up leftovers before heading out for a walk around the block.

“I’m sorry for all the chaos,” Cas said. “I hope that wasn’t too stressful.”

“Only a little,” Dean said. He buried his hands in his pockets to try to keep them warm. He smiled. “It was fun though. I had a good time.”

“Me too.”

“Is it usually like that?”

Cas paused a moment to think. “Yes and no,” he finally decided. “This year more relatives were in town than there usually are. Pesach is the holiday where everyone is usually in the same place.”

Dean took a second to mull that over. “You mean there are more of you?”

Cas nodded. “At Pesach, we don’t have room in the dining room for all of us.”

Dean whistled, a low sound that still seemed too loud in the snow-covered street.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, each lost in his own thoughts. At one point, Cas shivered slightly, and Dean offered him his scarf.

“But then you’ll be cold,” Cas pointed out, his nose and his cheeks pink from the cold.

Dean rolled his eyes and put an arm around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him close. He didn’t do it often, since Cas was so particular about touch, but he figured in the freezing cold an exception could be made. Cas, sinking into Dean’s touch, seemed to agree. (“Technically,” Cas had said one day, when Dean had brought up pushing their beds together in the dorm room, “ _shomer negiah_ means I shouldn’t touch girls. But seeing as I’m dating you, I feel like the mitzvah should apply to you, at least to a certain extent.” The beds had stayed separate, clear boundaries on touch had been established, and from there there followed a discussion on the relationship between sexuality and religion that had lasted until after midnight.)

“Dean?” Cas asked after another minute.

“Hmm?”

“Do you remember, before exams, when we were talking about you coming here for Chanukah?”

“That was three weeks ago Cas,” Dean said, but he sighed. “Yeah, I remember.”

“What was it you were thinking about?” Cas asked. “We were talking about you missing holidays with your family, and you looked faraway.”

Dean nodded. “When I first mentioned coming here to my parents, I just sort of… mentioned I wanted to be here, and that it started on the 24th.” He shrugged at the memory. “They didn’t remember that Jewish holidays start at sundown until the next day, so we had a whole thing about that.”

Cas’ brow furrowed, and he turned to look at Dean more fully. “Did something happen?”

Dean briefly inclined his head. “They thought I would be here the day of the 24th, and then be able to be home for Christmas, or something. And then I clarified I would be here for Christmas, and maybe wouldn’t end up coming home before the spring semester started.”

The pause that followed was heavy. “And?” Cas pressed, an edge of worry in his voice.

Dean sighed. “My dad wasn’t thrilled. Something about I needed to be home because of family or something. My mom was better about it.”

“I’m sorry that happened,” Cas said, briefly squeezing Dean’s arm.

“Don’t be,” Dean said. Then half a smile crawled across his face and he added, “You’ve apologized to me several times in the last couple of days, and I really don’t think it’s necessary.”

Cas opened his mouth to say something, and immediately closed it again. He rolled his eyes and shoved Dean lightly, effectively freeing himself from Dean’s grasp. “You sure you weren’t too overwhelmed though?” Cas asked.

“I’ll live, I promise,” Dean said, returning his frozen hand to his pocket. “And I had fun, really.”

“Good,” Cas said, smiling so his whole face lit up.


End file.
